Right in the Middle but Left Out

By Jeffery Trees

I am a husband, a father, a grandfather, son, brother, uncle who is loving, kind, compassionate, understanding, and a fun human being. I went to a very small grade school of only 13 in my class. I went to Shelbyville High School, Indiana and started singing professionally at the age of 14. I was called into the ministry in 1966 and went on to Asbury College being the first man to be allowed to be an applied voice major. The first week at Asbury I represented Asbury at the National Music Teachers Association. In 1969 I transferred to the University of Indianapolis with a major in Drama and Speech with a minor in English. After graduating from college, I was married to a very special woman and enrolled at Christian Theological Seminary. I am an ordained United Methodist Pastor, counselor, mentor, playwright and composer.

After 23 ½ years of marriage and ministry I discovered my wife was an incest victim which had a great impact upon everyone who loved her and especially within the family structure. I started a support group for husband of wives who were sexually abused as a child. Trying to find support and understanding was extremely difficult to find. Not even the hierarchy of the United Methodist knew how to respond to my wife, children and to me. Instead of focusing my anger on my wife and children, it was focused on the church hierarchy. Incest is one of the sins no one wants to deal with or even talk about. How could I serve a church that never really ever minister to me and my family, especially when we were supposed to be supported as a Covenant group of clergy. I learned I was paid to be good as a pastor, but I needed to know I was good for no other reason than to please God.



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